So much to share. Where to begin?
I rarely delve into the subject of physical health but I am today. I had surgery on September 1st. I have ongoing back issues which, according to my neurosurgeon, are 80% genetic and 20% lifestyle. I cannot tell you how better it made me feel that my challenges are not primarily self-induced. As I’ve written in the past, when I lose perspective and compassion, I blame myself for all the negatives in my life. In this case the symptom is I’m overweight. The disease is feeling fundamentally broken. The fact is, I no longer feel broken, most of the time. And that’s a very liberating realization, how much the scales have tipped in a healthy direction, emotionally, and with hope, physically.
Anyway, surgery went well and I’m on the mend. The biggest challenge is not overdoing it. I think I don’t want to appear weak, even after surgery, which I rationally know is ridiculous. Regardless, I feel much better, even if a tad cut up and bruised.
In other news, I am getting paid to write! A friend working at a think tank invited me to submit articles on current events. So far I’ve written three pieces that have been accepted, but not yet posted to the site. The articles are on DACA, the transgender military ban, and the Arpaio pardon. Not surprising, my liberal perspective seeps into my writing, but I back up opinions with facts. If you want a link to my articles, let me know at email@example.com
Even with the gratification this new gig provides, I find myself negating my accomplishment. I suspect minimizing the achievement relates to the disease I alluded to earlier. It is a condition with which I will always battle. So when I have an accomplishment like being paid to write, my immediate reaction is, “yeah, but it is non-fiction. Big deal. Real writers write fiction. Call me back when you have something worthwhile to celebrate.”
I know. Crazy talk, and in no way meant to disparage non-fiction writers who I admire tremendously. When I break through the fiction ceiling, I know the same voice will tell me that selling one piece of fiction is no big deal either. Call me back when you’ve sold a novel. Then two…” I suspect cognizance of my condition helps keep it in remission. With that awareness I’m able to stop, take a deep breath, acknowledge and savor my accomplishment in a more objective light.
Speaking of deep breaths, I hit a milestone today, meditating 100 days in a row! I have created a new habit. And I’m ecstatic about it. I know meditation has been instrumental in changing my sense of self. Post a message if you’re interested in hearing about how it came about.
That’s about all for now. Stay in touch. Connect.
P.S. Shockingly, a scene that actually relates to the post. Go figure.