Where to begin? First and foremost, this blog isn’t going away. I worry as you read this post you may think I’m writing a fare-thee-well letter. It is not. So, with that out of the way…
I am feeling disconnected from the loyal followers of my blog. The disconnect comes from the nagging knowledge that my posts are fairly redundant. Not surprising considering the nature of the blog. Perhaps if my life was more exciting, though I’m not sure how much excitement I could take, or want.
I suspect there are two distinctively different types of readers following the blog. You, who found this spot by way of a path I cannot begin to imagine, and those of you with whom I share a physical-world connection.
If you’re a member of the first community, I worry my words aren’t resonating, reminding you, you’re not alone, that someone else is going through the good, the bad, and the ugly as well. I’m not suggesting you and I are experiencing the exact same things. I just hope someone finds solace by way of my sharing. If you’re a member of the second community, I assume, rightly nor not, that my blog provides a bit of a travelogue into my head, keeping you up-to-date on my road, and on occasion, a reminder to drop me a line.
What has changed since I began the blog almost a year ago, is the third community who benefits from the blog. Me. I cannot express how helpful writing about my emotional state has been. Just thinking about what I’m thinking about helps me gain perspective, leading to epiphanies on my journey. Not to mention, the satisfaction when I finish writing and polishing, find an appropriate quote, create a meme, add a video clip, and finally publish the post.
Shortly after I began, I was extremely eager for friends to read my posts, to acknowledge the fact. I considered the blog proof I was productive, still capable of contributing to society. Those feelings have ebbed, Not that I am being productive or contributing! Just relying on the blog as evidence of the fact. Rediscovering my voice, not just here, but in other meaningful ways, particularly my fiction, has been extraordinarily gratifying. So much so, I recently came to the realization I no longer look for clues if friends are reading my words. I no longer ponder why some posts generate comments while many do not. This blog, this little part of who I am, is no longer my end-all, be-all.
I’m not sure if I can make the blog more compelling while staying true to the primary reason I write it. I guess I could live a more compelling life. So that is my pledge. I’ll do my best to make my five hundred words as interesting as possible, to take more risks, step out of my comfort zone, and chronicle those experiences, honestly and openly.
Thanks for listening. Stay in touch. Connect.
P.S. This is about as close to skydiving as I want to get.