I am not in the business of telling people what to do. On my journey, people have told me, if I only do x, y will occur.
In the blog, I’ve alluded to my ex-wife’s perception that if I lost weight and got a job I’d be much happier. Unfortunately, in the depths of my depression, the mere act of answering my phone seemed Herculean. Try explaining that to a super-woman, mother of three, extraordinarily successful corporate litigator.
People rarely understood the roadblocks that stalled my journey. What appeared to be”simple” solutions to them, were not. Hence, the reason I strive for a voice that focused on my perceptions, hopefully, with nary a single generalization.
I’m going to break my rule.
Try savoring something. Try taking a pause and find something to appreciate. If you’re so tied up in knots that even savoring a moment is more than you can imagine, that’s okay too. Just think about it for now, and if the opportunity arises, go for it.
I was walking in the rain two days ago. Gloomy, not-particularly-cold rain, Washington DC awash in tears over the peaceful-yet-painful transition of power. (The last sentence is an example of the literary device, the “Pathetic Fallacy.” Read my previous post on the subject here. Or not.)
I was walking, thinking about how miserable the rain made me feel. Then I remembered my Facebook memory feed. A year ago, the same day, a blizzard paralyzed the nation’s capital. With that perspective I savored the fact that it was only rain.
A few weeks ago I left my cellophone on the Metro bus. I realized I did so immediately after the bus pulled away from the stop. Thank heavens. Within a minute I flagged a cab. And then I got to say something I’ve only dreamed of saying my entire life, “Follow that car!” The cabbie was confused and I grudgingly acknowledged, I meant, “follow that bus.”
After three or four lights we got ahead of the bus. I hopped out of the cab, five dollars poorer, and boarded the bus. “Hey, did anyone turn in…” before I could finish my sentence the smiling bus driver handed me my phone.
I crossed the street and walked home, savoring a moment that could have turned out very differently.
Yesterday, I found a wallet, at the coffee shop where I write, in the restroom. It was just sitting there, fat with credit cards, fat with cash. I looked at the driver’s license and then put the bulging wallet in my pocket.
I didn’t see the owner so I turned it over to the manager. I watched her walk around and find the owner. The manager pointed to me and owner nodded, sort of appreciatively. I guess.
And then I stewed. I actually was irked that the reunited owner had not shown enough appreciation for my act.
And then I stewed over the fact I had stewed over feeling under-appreciated.
And then I reminded myself how someone handed the bus driver an iPhone a few weeks ago and I never had a chance to profusely thank the person. That acknowledgement enabled me to savor the fact I did “the right thing.” Ultimately, being true to yourself is as good as it gets. And that’s worth savoring.
Stay in touch. Connect.
P.S. A special note to someone for reminding me how much I enjoy the blog.
P.P.S. Yeah, I coulda done a clip from As Good As It Gets but that would have been predictable.