Honest to a …

"No legacy is as rich as honesty." From "As You Like It" by Willie Shakespeare

A couple friends in the writing business expressed concern over my blog.

“It’ll be with you forever!”

“Any prospective employer will find it!”

“If you think it is a ‘safe place,’ you’re wrong!”

I’m confused. I don’t write about scandalous behavior. Friends and family who make appearances are typically on the periphery, and  aware of their portrayals. So far no objections or concerns.

Yes, my words will be with me forever. Am I wrong not to care? Am I pathetically naive? Or am I masquerading as a millennial with little concern over last eon’s perception of “privacy”?

As far as prospective employers go, you, my readers are the only employers I aim to please. In my post, The Possible Dream, I declared my singular focus on writing, and marketing my writing. That hasn’t changed.

I don’t want to be a director of marketing for some company I could care less about. I want to write. Five hours a day. Five days a week. You are my employer. I’ll determine my direction based on your reactions, your likes, dislikes, not an HR manager at Spacely Sprockets.

I don’t know what to make of the ‘safe place’ conment. I don’t think I’ve written a word inappropriate to discuss with my closest friends or the most distant stranger. If someone wants to blackmail or kidnap me for displaying slightly neurotic, overly-empathetic behavior, so be it! Knock yourself out. Though, I would urge you to take a gander at The Ransom of Red Chief by O Henry.

Even if you’re not planning on kidnapping, me, read O Henry.

Do I sound defensive?

You betcha. I acknowledge the tone, and not as an undercurrent. It is a breaking wave even I could ride. (Not really, but a guy can dream.)

Discussing the tone of my blog, however, brings up a point I’ve been contemplating. Close friends have chosen not to read the blog because it upsets them to hear me in so much pain.

I’ve heard this sentiment expressed more than twice. And more than twice, I’ve been surprised. I see this blog reflecting my journey, progress, setbacks, but ultimately, progress. There are moments of raw pain. And joy. Ultimately though, my story is one of hopefulness as I seek the meaning of my existence.

If  the end of my marriage was the catalyst, beginning my journey, as much as I mourn many of the changes that have taken place, I honestly couldn’t be happier.

Stay in touch. Connect.

P.S. The path to this clip began with a search for the perfect scene. It ended with this clip so offensive and inappropriate  I love it.

I hope no one is too offended by its offensiveness.

3 thoughts on “Honest to a …

  1. You are bumping up against one of the greatest challenges of being a good writer. Often times for your writing to be compelling, especially when you are writing about yourself, you need to be brutally honest and authentic. Otherwise, your writing isn’t real, honest or raw, and doesn’t have the same impact or emotional punch. This is very difficult to do and takes courage, because by definition you are making yourself vulnerable and open to judgment. It would be so much easier not to do that, go just 67% of the way and hold back on the final third. I have struggled with the same concept in doing a blog and other writing. I admire your willingness to be real and raw about your life, your changes, relationships and struggles. I think it’s what makes your writing good and your blog worth reading. You’ll have to decide how open and honest you want to be or can tolerate…looks like you have.


    1. Thanks so much, Adam. I appreciate all your kind words. You were one of my first followers and commenters and that has been such an unanticipated benefit of the blog.

      I had never received feedback outside a very small circle of friends in the past and to find myself in a new community like this is pretty awesome, I must say.


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